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Mikubot-2/plugins/slap.lua

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local doc = [[
/slap [target]
Give someone a good slap (or worse) through reply or specification of a target.
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]]
local triggers = {
'^/slap[@'..bot.username..']*'
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}
local slaps = {
'$victim was shot by $victor.',
'$victim was pricked to death.',
'$victim walked into a cactus while trying to escape $victor.',
'$victim drowned.',
'$victim drowned whilst trying to escape $victor.',
'$victim blew up.',
'$victim was blown up by $victor.',
'$victim hit the ground too hard.',
'$victim fell from a high place.',
'$victim fell off a ladder.',
'$victim fell into a patch of cacti.',
'$victim was doomed to fall by $victor.',
'$victim was blown from a high place by $victor.',
'$victim was squashed by a falling anvil.',
'$victim went up in flames.',
'$victim burned to death.',
'$victim was burnt to a crisp whilst fighting $victor.',
'$victim walked into a fire whilst fighting $victor.',
'$victim tried to swim in lava.',
'$victim tried to swim in lava while trying to escape $victor.',
'$victim was struck by lightning.',
'$victim was slain by $victor.',
'$victim got finished off by $victor.',
'$victim was killed by magic.',
'$victim was killed by $victor using magic.',
'$victim starved to death.',
'$victim suffocated in a wall.',
'$victim fell out of the world.',
'$victim was knocked into the void by $victor.',
'$victim withered away.',
'$victim was pummeled by $victor.',
'$victim was fragged by $victor.',
'$victim was desynchronized.',
'$victim was wasted.',
'$victim was busted.',
'$victim\'s bones are scraped clean by the desolate wind.',
'$victim has died of dysentery.',
'$victim fainted.',
'$victim is out of usable Pokemon! $victim whited out!',
'$victim is out of usable Pokemon! $victim blacked out!',
'$victim whited out!',
'$victim blacked out!',
'$victim says goodbye to this cruel world.',
'$victim got rekt.',
'$victim was sawn in half by $victor.',
'$victim died. I blame $victor.',
'$victim was axe-murdered by $victor.',
'$victim\'s melon was split by $victor.',
'$victim was slice and diced by $victor.',
'$victim was split from crotch to sternum by $victor.',
'$victim\'s death put another notch in $victor\'s axe.',
'$victim died impossibly!',
'$victim died from $victor\'s mysterious tropical disease.',
'$victim escaped infection by dying.',
'$victim played hot-potato with a grenade.',
'$victim was knifed by $victor.',
'$victim fell on his sword.',
'$victim ate a grenade.',
'$victim practiced being $victor\'s clay pigeon.',
'$victim is what\'s for dinner!',
'$victim was terminated by $victor.',
'$victim was shot before being thrown out of a plane.',
'$victim was not invincible.',
'$victim has encountered an error.',
'$victim died and reincarnated as a goat.',
'$victor threw $victim off a building.',
'$victim is sleeping with the fishes.',
'$victim got a premature burial.',
'$victor replaced all of $victim\'s music with Nickelback.',
'$victor spammed $victim\'s email.',
'$victor made $victim a knuckle sandwich.',
'$victor slapped $victim with pure nothing.',
'$victor hit $victim with a small, interstellar spaceship.',
'$victim was quickscoped by $victor.',
'$victor put $victim in check-mate.',
'$victor RSA-encrypted $victim and deleted the private key.',
'$victor put $victim in the friendzone.',
'$victor slaps $victim with a DMCA takedown request!',
'$victim became a corpse blanket for $victor.',
'Death is when the monsters get you. Death comes for $victim.',
'Cowards die many times before their death. $victim never tasted death but once.'
}
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local action = function(msg)
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local nicks = load_data('nicknames.json')
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local victim = msg.text:input()
if msg.reply_to_message then
if nicks[tostring(msg.reply_to_message.from.id)] then
victim = nicks[tostring(msg.reply_to_message.from.id)]
else
victim = msg.reply_to_message.from.first_name
end
end
local victor = msg.from.first_name
if nicks[msg.from.id_str] then
victor = nicks[msg.from.id_str]
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end
if not victim then
victim = victor
victor = bot.first_name
end
local message = slaps[math.random(#slaps)]
message = message:gsub('$victim', victim)
message = message:gsub('$victor', victor)
sendMessage(msg.chat.id, message)
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end
return {
action = action,
triggers = triggers,
doc = doc
}